I have been married for 16 years and 4 children.  Ever since I was a teenager I
have struggled with sexual thoughts toward men.  Those thoughts and feelings
have continued to grow and I have acted on them on a few occasions.  There were
several times prior to marriage as a teenager I experimented with sexual acts
with other guys.  Then, since marriage, I have had half a dozen encounters.  There have been many more "online" encounters as anytime I view porn, I am attracted to gay porn.  

My wife and I have a great relationship and have a good sexual relationship as
well, but this dark secret haunts me.  It also draws me.  I am so conflicted
internally ... I can't confess this to anyone as it would absolutely kill my
wife and family.  But I'm tired of living this dual life.

I'm a Christian and have prayd for deliverance of this since I became a
Christian.  Why can't I be free????

…and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free. John 8:32 NASB

You cannot fight this battle alone. The very thing you fear – honesty – is the very thing that will bring about your deliverance. The first step toward Truth that sets us free is our own honest confession of need. Please seek a Christian Counselor. I would encourage you to go to my web site,, and search the 'Need Help?' section. You will find many resources there. You will also want to look at the many resources available at

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