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My Son Struggles- What do I do?

CONFESSION
Help please?! My 13 year old son 'loves' (very strongly) a boy.  He professes to be a Christian. We don't know what to do.

GOD’S WORD SAYS
In You, O LORD, I have taken refuge; Let me never be ashamed. In Your righteousness deliver me and rescue me; Incline Your ear to me and save me. Be to me a rock of habitation to which I may continually come; You have given commandment to save me, For You are my rock and my fortress. Rescue me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, Out of the grasp of the wrongdoer and ruthless man, For You are my hope; O Lord GOD, {You are} my confidence from my youth. Psalm 71:1-5 NASB

DENNIS’S SUGGESTION
Continue to pray and seek wise counsel. Find your personal sustenance in intimacy with Christ during this difficult time. I would encourage you to go to my web site, www.dennisjernigan.com, and search the 'Need Help?' section. You will find many resources there. You will also want to look at the many resources available at www.exodus-international.org, including a ministry focused on young people they have made available.

Emotionally Weary

CONFESSION
I confess my failure to live as I feel Christ calls me to live and to be the person everyone seems to need me to be. I'm tired and hurting so badly inside.

GOD’S WORD SAYS
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 NASB

DENNIS’S SUGGESTION
In my own life I lived far too long trying to please everyone…but pleasing everyone was destroying me! My goal in life now is to simply walk in relationship with the Lord Who loves me and likes being with me. I also walk with people who accept me as I am and allow me a shoulder to cry on and a heart to vent my frustrations to. Honesty leads to Truth and Truth leads to freedom from having to perform for anyone. It is that realization that God loves me even when I blow it that gives me the strength to follow hard after Him. Be encouraged. God is calling you to intimacy with Himself. I would suggest you read my book called ‘This Is My Destiny’ and listen to the recording by the same name. Become a worshiper and let your focus be placed on God and taken off of your hurts. You will find relief and healing in that place.

Married But Struggle With SSA

CONFESSION
Well, I've never really confessed anything to a computer screen.  And I must admit that it feels a little weird.   I can really relate to DJ's testimony.  I too was raised in church, with questions about my identity in Christ. I was propositioned by an older teen when I was in the 4th grade and felt like it was the actual sexual abuse because of all that I witnessed.  By the time I was in college the Internet was in full swing.  I looked for pictures of naked guys doing the same things that had happened to me.  Instead of this making me feel better I only felt worse and began to think that something was wrong with me.  I knew that my life belonged to Christ and never questioned if same sex attraction was a sin.  So I decided to seek out a good Christian counselor.  I worked through the shame.  And sincerely felt like i had a firm understanding of Who Christ was making me, and who he called me to be.  I continued on in ministry working with teens and leading worship.  Every once in a while I would need a firm reminder of who I was in Christ.  Some comment or situation would bring up the insecurities of my masculinity once again.  I would work it out and all was well.  I have been married for almost three years now with a two year old and one on the way.  I pray that I will be the Father God wants me to be, and the husband.  My wife is aware of the past struggles and insecurities with my masculinity.  But I honestly thought that all of the process was behind me.  I have worked students for the past five years in a large church, and have ministered to other guys and sometimes girls who have shared the same struggles with Identity.  My wife and I are in transition to be involved with a new church plant.  I will be the pastor of worship and community.  I am so looking forward to it and wanting to finish well here in this role.  But here's the problem.  Last night I was tired, alone, spiritually spent from a long day of ministry.  I came home to an empty house and was on the computer right before I went to bed and I clicked on some link that led me to the most terrible pictures.  It was like six years of sobriety all down the drain. But this is a huge deal because my wife would be so hurt and confused.  We have an intimate marriage.  I am not sure what to do or who to tell.  So I am confessing to a computer screen.?!  This is too weird.   I know that I need honest confession.  No cloaks or veils to hide the darkness that was in my heart.  I know that God has changed me.  I can see the difference.  But with set backs like this one I can really doubt the power of the gospel to change.   I have wept, and been in utter turmoil up until I started writing this letter.  my wife is out of town.  I have one friend who I have confessed to here.  (veiled confession) but He is willing to talk to me any hour.
 I really just needed to say exactly what happened.     I feel terrified that I have defamed the name of Christ.  or that His plans of ministry is over for me.  I wrote my wife a letter explaining everything.  I have not decided if I should give it to her.  During this time of transition/pregnancy I think that I should protect her from my inner turmoil, as she looks to me as a leader. I decided to "get Honest" because I need someone to not just know that I am sad for my sin, but to know why my heart is sad.  It is a process for sure.  But I have decided to follow Jesus.  I can not understand why my heart in a weak moment would look back, especially after a long period with no struggle.  Thank you for your site.  Thank you for being a place to confess with no hesitation.  I have never heard you in concert or even own a cd of yours.  But I knew your story and I felt like the Lord impressed on my heart to google you.  Thanks DJ for being brave enough to confess and share your story.  I want to live an honest life before the Lord and before others.

GOD’S WORD SAYS
Is anyone among you suffering? {Then} he must pray. Is anyone cheerful? He is to sing praises. Is anyone among you sick? {Then} he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. James 5:13-16 NASB

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 NASB

DENNIS’S SUGGESTION
Confession is vital to the healing process…and it is not just a one-time thing. I encourage you to find a brother near you to can share the burden with. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to that person or persons…and also ask him for the proper time to get honest with your wife. I made leaps and bounds in my healing when I decided to get honest with everyone about my struggles. You might consider reading my eBook ‘Victim to Victor’ as well. I would encourage you to go to my web site, www.dennisjernigan.com, and search the 'Need Help?' section. You will find many resources there. You will also want to look at the many resources available at www.exodus-international.org.

SSA

CONFESSION
I have been married for 16 years and 4 children.  Ever since I was a teenager I
have struggled with sexual thoughts toward men.  Those thoughts and feelings
have continued to grow and I have acted on them on a few occasions.  There were
several times prior to marriage as a teenager I experimented with sexual acts
with other guys.  Then, since marriage, I have had half a dozen encounters.  There have been many more "online" encounters as anytime I view porn, I am attracted to gay porn.  

My wife and I have a great relationship and have a good sexual relationship as
well, but this dark secret haunts me.  It also draws me.  I am so conflicted
internally ... I can't confess this to anyone as it would absolutely kill my
wife and family.  But I'm tired of living this dual life.

I'm a Christian and have prayd for deliverance of this since I became a
Christian.  Why can't I be free????

GOD’S WORD SAYS
…and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free. John 8:32 NASB

DENNIS’S SUGGESTION
You cannot fight this battle alone. The very thing you fear – honesty – is the very thing that will bring about your deliverance. The first step toward Truth that sets us free is our own honest confession of need. Please seek a Christian Counselor. I would encourage you to go to my web site, www.dennisjernigan.com, and search the 'Need Help?' section. You will find many resources there. You will also want to look at the many resources available at www.exodus-international.org.

Son Struggles With SSA

CONFESSION
I'm a mother reeling with fear and pain. Two months ago our 21 year old son
told us that he is attracted to the same sex.  He is a Christian that has lived a
truly Christ filled life through high school. However he confessed that the
past year he has given into these feelings. He's believing the lie that this
just must be the way it is. That we possibly are interpreting the Bible
incorrectly.  I'm dealing with major GIANTS of FEAR and despair 24/7 trying to
do the right thing and leave this with my Lord…but so afraid. Thank for your
ministry, I worship & cling to Christ w. your verses...Thank you for pointing
this Sister to Him.

GOD’S WORD SAYS
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 1 John 4:18 NASB

DENNIS’S SUGGESTION
Rest in God’s love and daily turn this burden over to Him…and ask Him to allow you to see your circumstances from His perspective. I would encourage you to go to my web site, www.dennisjernigan.com, and search the 'Need Help?' section. You will find many resources there. You will also want to look at the many resources available at www.exodus-international.org.

Is There Hope?

CONFESSION
I am a deeply committed Christian, but cannot overcome same sex attraction. I am happily married and totally fulfilled in my heterosexual relationship...but why do I continue to feel this attraction every time I see a handsome guy or the
male physique? I hate it.  Is there EVER deliverance for this...I've tried
everything!

GOD’S WORD SAYS
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor {the} covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NASB

DENNIS’S SUGGESTION
Deliverance is possible. I have had to renew my mind on a daily basis and reprogram my thoughts with what God calls good. I would suggest you get help through a Christian counselor and would encourage you to go to my web site, www.dennisjernigan.com, and search the 'Need Help?' section. You will find many resources there. You will also want to look at the many resources available at www.exodus-international.org.

Worship From the Living Room - TONIGHT!

JUNE 1, 2009 9PM CST

Join in the live worship and ministry by logging in at http://www.livestream.com/dennisjernigantv

Upcoming Dennis Jernigan Events

MAY 31
Night of Praise in Jenks, Oklahoma

Sunday, May 31 at 6:00 PM, Dennis will be leading out in a Night of Praise at First Baptist Church, which is located at 205 East A Street in Jenks, OK.
Call 918-299-6323 or go to www.fbcjenks.org for more information.

JUNE 1
Worship From the Living Room With Dennis Jernigan

Monday, June 1 at 9 PM CST.






INSP Night of Praise and DVD Recording With Dennis Jernigan - June 13th


Would you like to have Dennis Jernigan lead worship and minister to your church in a free Night of Praise?
For those of you in the Charlotte, NC/Indian Land, SC area, this could be a reality simply by helping us fill seats for a concert in June!


Hate Crime - What It Means

Bigotry, Tolerance, and Compassion
I have had my life threatened, I have been confronted on several occasions by angry homosexuals (several times in churches!), I have been picketed, I have been mocked by homosexual groups even while sharing my story of deliverance from homosexuality, I once shared my story at a national denominational gathering while a gay cabaret night was offered as an alternative to my ministry, and I daily receive hateful letters from angry homosexuals via my various web sites (go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0oQuL8Gog4 and read some of the ‘tolerant and compassionate’ comments)…all because I simply share my story of freedom from unwanted same sex attraction. Yet to hear the gay community tell it, I’m the most vile, wicked, hurtful, evil, confused person on earth! And I’m the bigot?

A bigot, by definition, is ‘somebody who has very strong opinions, especially on matters of politics, religion, or ethnicity, and refuses to accept different views’. Wow! That’s the definition of a bigot according to the Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. Maybe I’m not the bigot after all…or at least not the only one!

Tolerance is defined as ‘the acceptance of differing views of other people’ or ‘putting up with something or someone that causes irritation’. I find it humorous that people who disagree with me concerning my experience as a former homosexual and subsequent freedom from that attraction call me the intolerant one. What politically correct tolerance means is that ‘I am tolerant of your views as long as they agree with mine’! So exactly who is intolerant of whom?

Compassion is defined as ‘sympathy for the hardships of others and often presumes a desire to aid’. My greatest desire is to help people who are trapped as I was in the bondage of homosexuality find a way out. I can only help those who WANT help and am completely tolerant of those who do not see a need for that kind of freedom. How many of those who disagree with me want to help me? Again, go read some of the comments my story receives from homosexuals on my YouTube site to find out.

Homosexuality is Sin…and There Is No Gay Gene
I believe homosexuality is a sin because God calls it a sin. Lev 18:22 (NASB) says, 'You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.’ And for those who say ‘Well, Jesus never mentions homosexuality as sinful.’ Let me remind you that Jesus said this in John 10:30 (NASB): "I and the Father are one." If the Father calls it sin, so does Jesus. Until 1973, same sex attraction was considered a mental disorder. Something changed in our culture. In a nutshell, those who were no longer willing to fight the fight required to be free decided they should not be held accountable any longer…so a long and determined onslaught against what God calls righteous was launched. I also find it interesting that even those sympathetic to the gay movement are having to admit that there is absolutely no scientific validity to the ‘gay gene’ theory. Go to http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=97940 to read the latest from a scientific perspective.

Call it liberalism or socialism or whatever you want. Anything that opposes the holiness of God poses grave danger to our lives, our families, our marriages, our homes, our churches, and our very way of life. Freedom is at stake, even though the lie going across our land says that we who stand for righteousness pose the real threat to freedom. Seriously?

There is a move in our nation that threatens the very core of our identity and freedom. One of the tactics of that move is the attack posed to freedom in the name of ‘Hate Crime’. That move is to strengthen and redefine ‘hate crime’. How does this affect us? First, let’s define what a ‘hate crime’ is.

Hate crimes are also known as bias-motivated crimes (This should cause great alarm to all who love their freedom of expression in this nation. Who gets to decide the motivation of one’s thoughts? Sounds a lot like Nazi Germany as Hitler was coming into power, doesn’t it?). A crime is considered ‘hate crime’ when an offender targets a victim because of his or her membership in a certain social group. A social group is usually defined by race, religion, sexual orientation, disability, ethnicity, nationality, age, gender, gender identity, or political affiliation.

A crime is considered a ‘hate crime’ when certain acts are motivated by hatred of someone in one of those aforementioned groups. A second kind of ‘hate crime’ is ‘hate speech’. Again, who gets to decide the motives of another’s thoughts? Who gets to tell everyone else how to think? Who is behind this push to make ‘hate speech’ a criminal offense?

From my estimation, ‘hate crime’ and ‘hate speech’ are designed to protect a certain class of people. Namely, anyone who does not want to be held to a higher standard of moral purity. Reality is that every single citizen of the United States of America is already protected from harm and persecution by law. ‘Hate Crime’ legislation seeks to grant special rights and special protections to those who practice sexual deviancy. This legislation will effectively create a privileged class of sexual deviants that place their behavior in a class above what is considered normal behavior. This will effectively make speaking out against sexual deviancy a ‘hate crime’.

What Percentage of Our Population is Gay?
Here’s something I bet you did not know: Only 2-3% of our population is actually identified as homosexual. Of course, the gay community would have you believe their numbers are in the 10% range, but those figures are based on the now disproven results of the Kinsey studies from 1948 and 1953. Every major poll of our nation’s citizens proves that the majority is against same sex marriage, yet here we find ourselves potentially being told what we can and cannot believe or say by a minority of 2-3% of our population. Incredulous!

Even though ‘hate speech’ is NOT a part of this bill, there are two things we must consider. If someone calls another what is considered a slur against their particular social group while committing a crime against them, that crime can be considered ‘hate crime’. Secondly, is it really that great of a stretch for us to assume that speech will be next…especially in light of the pressures upon us to be politically correct in our speech? This is indeed a slippery slope. Even in the wording of the bill, if prejudice is perceived and someone is offended (say, for instance, a pastor who preaches from the Word of God that homosexuality is sin), is it too inconceivable to think civil suits will not be filed as a result due to emotional injury? While I hope I am wrong, I do not believe I am. Thursday, April 23, the House Judiciary Committee passed the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009. On April 29, the full House passed the legislation and it will now pass on to the Senate for assumed approval there. Under this law the investigation and prosecution of an offense against a homosexual or transvestite would be given priority over a crime committed against your grandmother – or one of your children. It can potentially be used to persecute any Christian whose public actions reflect their faith. I find it interesting that during the last Congress, Representative Artur Davis (D-AL) admitted that this legislation could be used to arrest pastors for hate crimes and there is still resistance to adding protections for pastors. Yet, here we are.

I have actually had believers tell me in years past that this would never happen in our nation…yet here we are. I have recently had believers tell me that our freedom of speech would always remain intact…yet here we are with legislation that will directly affect what we can and cannot say in our ever-increasingly politically correct world. We need only look as far as Carrie Prejean in the recent Miss USA Pageant when she gave her honest opinion when asked about gay marriage. Her answer cost her the title and the derision of the liberal media. Freedom of speech? Yeah, right…as long as you agree with the liberal point of view.

What Can We Do?
What can we do? We can be salt and we can be light…we can be vessels of God’s love to those who are confused by such issues. A kingdom point of view is one that realizes God is in control even during times such as the one we now live. A kingdom point of view speaks the truth and lives the truth in love regardless of how the world treats them in return. A kingdom point of view is one that fights for freedom even when freedom may cost them everything they have…even their life.

I do not want my children to face the kind of persecution I know is very possible in my lifetime. Anything I can do to fight for their freedom and at the same time raise up the banner of hope in Christ, I will do.
Blessings,
Dennis Jernigan

SOME OF MY HEROES – PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM
It has been amazing to see the support Carrie Prejean has received since giving her now famous response in the Miss USA Pageant…but, not to take ANYTHING away from Carrie, I want you to know there are many, many men and women who have been fighting for freedom from homosexuality for many long years before Carrie Prejean was even born. Men and women like Frank and Anita Worthen (part of the birth of Exodus International), Bob Davies, Joe Dallas, Andy Comiskey, Sy Rogers, Alan and Leslie Chambers (President of Exodus International), Randy Thomas, Laura Leigh Stanlake, and Steven Black just to name a few of the hundreds I have personally met through the years. These men and women are in the heat of the fight and right there on the front lines…literally risking their lives and reputations for the sake of Jesus Christ and freedom that comes from knowing Him. They stand, often without much, if any, recognition. That is not why they fight. They fight for the King and for the Kingdom. They fight for YOU. Please pray for them…often.